i always do this to myself...read too much into things and expect something and in the end, it's the opposite. it's not bad, actually, it's for the better. but it kind of is a let down all the same. don't you hate it when you hope for something and then it just doesn't happen? but maybe, i was just thinkin on a false hope, ya know? *shrug* oh well. time to move on

class tomorrow at 8....BLAH till 5 friggin o'clock missin the cal game too...poooo

so the pathfinder continues to live. Supposedly, we'll get it back monday

another boring class this morning. but that's ok...one good thing out of that class, researching other desingers. pretty cool. good critique tonite. i swear, i don't think the other students really get the main idea of the class. maybe it's cuz i've had the teacher so often, but either way, you just follow the directions and things would be easy, right? they can't even do that. sheesh...



i told you guys nothing would happen during christmas! cuz it's not going to happen anymore! the ppl had to bail due to unconventional circumstances....ahhahahahahaha

nothing like having a venting session w/ your cousin to let you just dump everything....thnx hun. luv u! *muah*

class was uneventful. not quite boring, but uneventful. i think i'm finally learning that my photoshop teacher would just rather quickly dish out the "lectures" and make us struggle along to figure stuff out then to slowly go through each thing. *shrug* oh well, whatever. as long as i pass the class. i could just give her a box of godiva and i'd prolly ace the class. hahahahahahha

SCREW IT ALL. i'm tired of everything. i'm tired of getting blamed for everything. i'm tired of sacrificing my time. i'm tired of having to give my all and work my ass off. i know i'm privileged. i know i have alot. believe me, i AM thankful. but right now, it doesn't feel worth staying around for. i want out. i want to move away. far far away. paris is looking better and better. maybe it's time i stopped "thinking" about it and worked up the courage to actually do it.

this morning, my dad took the pathfinder to work...it died on him. i have no car now *sigh*

the hightlight of my day: having lunch w/ auntie terri and seeing will-he's sucha cutie. too bad he lives in santa margarita now. oh and i had another dream w/ lawrence in it last nite...lol. ok, so i've had 3 highlights for the day

today was boring. mike wasn't at school today, so i had no one to keep me company in class and to laugh w/ about our teacher.

i had a dream about lawrence last nite. weird cuz i never think about him. heck, i barely see him! *shrug* whatever. at least i know i'm not having any more scary dreams. *shudder*

so tired...*yawn*

for some very odd reason, "do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man. do you know the muffin man who lives on cherry lane..." is in my head....don't ask why, cuz i have no friggin idea.

went to drea's house to see charlie...sooo cute!! i want a dog!

trying to get ready for another intense week...*sigh*. is it winter break yet?

my heel hurts, my head hurts, and my heart hurts...signing off