I miss my cousins. I got an email update from Christina today and I realized how much more I actually miss her. She's off somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and I don't know when I'll see her again. Many things are going on in her life right now and we can't exactly sit down and talk about it. Sure, emails are great, but I miss actually seeing her and sitting down and talking to her. I miss Derek and Daryl too. I talk to them more often than I do with Christina [and I at least get to HEAR them], but I miss our Saturday nite dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's. We sure did take those evenings of just haning out and goofing off for granted. I miss how we used to go over for dinner, play video games, watch movies, and talk about what was going on in our lives. Yes, I'm in a bit of a downer mood lately. ::sigh::

Jody resigned from Newsboys. What a sad, sad, event [click to read the story. It's most touching and it'd be good to keep in them in prayer]. The reason being is even more sad. But at least he has his priorities straight and he's working on it. Now I know why that guy Bryan was filling in at the concert when we went. He's pretty good. Apparently, he's part of this other group that Peter Furler was going to sign to Inpop records...guess that group's no longer playing together.

So many things on my mind...glad to know someone else is feeling the same way I am about one of them.

Well, it's finally past. The First Annual Benefit Dinner & Auction for the Maria Ann Hsiao Memorial Foundation is over. The long days and nites are over. No more getting home at 3:00a.m and going to sleep at 4:00 and waking up to go to work at 7:30 to repeat the process. Going into it, I was fully aware of the consequences and what the event would entail. I guess I just wasn't anticipating the nites to be THAT late. It turned out ok though. I know we could've had alot more people and spread the word to more people who weren't fully aware of the foundation, but I was generally pleased overall with the outcome of things. I was/am so appreciative of all the people who came to help and support us in our first big event. It definitely was a learning experience. I have many things to contemplate and think through and it is somewhat of struggle to keep the emotional and professional aspect of things balanced, but I have many people supporting me through it. Through the week, I kept telling myself, that I wouldn't cry-or at least, I'd hold it all in. Watching the presentation, seeing her face up there, and seeing the kids that we visited, it just reminded me again of why we formed a foundation in the first place. And while the room was dimly lit and no one was around me, I told myself not to cry, but it leaked. While I was sure no one saw me since I was standing in back, I got a comforting hug. When going to the different schools, visiting the kids and seeing them respond to what we ask them to do, drawing/painting out their dreams, it brings a smile to my face and I'm reminded why we're here as a foundation. It really is a fulfilling feeling. I pray that it never goes away, because when it does, that's when some serious questions will need to be evaluated.

So why am I still up at 2:30 a.m. when I'm so tired? I can't sleep. The nitemares have returned, but not nitely. Just enough for me to be scared to sleep. II Cor.12:9 And I need to sleep, desperately. I'm so tired and worn out, I'm really dragging my feet and I feel ill. My eyes are twitching, my head hurts, I feel like I'm getting sick, and I can't eat. ::sigh::

There's an ok picture of the board members on Christine's xanga. I'm glad it's rather dark....you can't really see how awful I actually look.