to my so-cal heartbroken girls, i'm sorry you're having such a hard time. i wish i could do something for you guys. yeah, guys can be bastards, but keep you're head up. they don't know what they're missing, you're better off without them if they think like that...

Superchic[k]
Bowling Ball
Maybe he'll change
maybe things will get better
maybe it would be nice
if he wouldn't always put you down
maybe things will work out
but maybe they'll never
and I think that you've given him
the benefit of the doubt
you need that boy like a bowling ball dropped on your head
which means not at all
you have too much to give to live to waste your time on him

maybe he'll change
if you could be better
but maybe it's not your fault
he's checking out the waitress now
but someday you'll change
one day you're stronger
and you will have changed enough
and it's time to get out
you have too much to give to live to waste time on him

wishes
the saddest thing is you could be anything that you could want
we could have been everything
but now we're not
now it's not anything at all
the hardest part was getting this close to you
and giving up this dream i built with you
a fairytale that isn't coming true
you've got some growing up to do

i wish we could have worked it out
i wish I didn't have these doubts
i wish i didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now
i wish i didn't know inside the things you put me through
tell me why i'm still in love with you
and why am i, why am i still waiting for your call
you broke my heart
i'm taking it back from you
i'm taking back the life that i gave to you
life goes on before and after you
i've got some growing up to do
it's time i said my last goodbye
goodbye
goodbye
it's time i said my last goodbye

Beauty from Pain
the lights go out all around me
one last candle to keep out the night
and then the darkness surrounds me
i know i'm alive
but i feel like i died
and all that's left is to accept that it's over
my dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
i try to keep warm but i grow colder
i feel like i'm slipping away

after all this has passed again
i still will remain
after i've cried my last
there'll be beauty from pain
though it won't be today
someday i'll hope again
and there'll be beauty from pain
you will bring beauty from my pain]

my whole world is the pain inside me
the best i can do is just get through the day
when life before is only a memory
i wonder why God lets me walk through this place
and though i can't understand why this happened
i know that i will when i look back someday
and see how you've brought beauty from ashes
and made me as gold purified through these flames

here i am at the end of me
trying to hold to what i can't see
i forgot how to hope
this night's been to long
i cling to your promise there will be a dawn

Spring break is over =( How sad. The only 'break' I got was that I didn't have to commute every freakin day to San Jose. Well, take that back, I was able to escape to Tahoe for a few days. Oh goodness, in my 21 years of skiing I have never felt so out of shape in my life. I better get back up to 6-a-week. It doesn't look like spring up there. More like January or February. There's so much freakin snow, it's awesome! Nice soft powder...yeaahhhh. It was weird b/c this was the first season in 6 years that I haven't been up w/ Hil and 5 years w/o Jon & Karen. Went to Northstar Monday and it snowed part of the day. Tuesday, met up w/ Mark, Sylvia, and Joey. Snowed most of the day. Then headed over to Hiro's. Ooohhhhhh yummmmmm. I finally squelched my craving. SOooooo good! They changed the layout. They now have a bar! Score! =)

Now maybe I'll be able to catch up on my sleep...in class. Hahhahahaha! I didn't touch my homework all week until tonite. I'm ready for break now! The past week was work and prep for the Crab Feed. Thank you EVERYONE who came out to support us. I really appreciate your generosity and you showing up. It means alot. And to all the helpers who sacrificed their time and energy, we couldn't have done it without you. Tamaron, Brandon, Lindz--I'm sorry we didn't get to hang out at all this break! But thanks for coming to the Crab Feed! At least we got to exchange a few words and hugs!! Luv you guys. Thanks so much everyone! It was successful with a few drawbacks, but overall it was fine. I'm already thinking about next year and even our "5th Anniversary" year. Hey, doesn't hurt to plan ahead. I missed you Toby!! I wish you could've been there, it wasn't the same without you!

Went to a bridal fair today at Palmdale. Great to see different vendors and stuff. Some good ideas in terms of cards, invitations, etc. Cute DJ =) Almost didn't make it. Stace was supposed to come to my house at 10:45. She called me at 10:25 to ask what I wanted from Starbucks...she woke me up. Good thing she got a lil lost. hahahahhaa!

This week, back to the grind of school, work, homework. ::sigh:: Exhausted, but it's a good exhausted. Alrighty, I'm off...thanks again everyone who came out!

Missing you always, Ria.