i think i have just made one of the hardest decisions i will ever make in my life. no matter what ppl think, i know i did what was best for me spiritually and as a whole. it wasn't just one thing, but many things that led up to it and other factors going on in my life. it's not like i'm shutting it out of my life completely and for forever. it's just right now, to see if i can do it...i need to be recharged.

mom gets these things from i dunno where, but she forwarded it to me and it helped cheer me up...

~First Day of School” Faith

"I remember two things about the first day of school. The first was how exciting it was. New clothes. New notebooks. New teacher. On the first day of school, it seemed like the world was full of endless possibilities.

As an adult, I sometimes miss that excitement. Life can be pretty routine at times. When I start feeling that way, it's good to remind myself that while I may be through with first days of school, I have a God who loves to do new things in and through me. He told Isaiah in the Bible, “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth...” (Isaiah 43:19 KJV). God likes to begin new things in our lives. The “first day of school” experience He has for you or me might be a new friend who is going to teach us things we never knew about ourselves. Or it might be a new ministry where we get to see God use us in ways He never has before.

The other thing I remember about the first day of school was how scary it was. What if I couldn't find my classroom? What if I got lost in the hall? What if none of my friends were in my class?

God understands that part of new experiences too. Even though He loves to do new things, the Bible tells us, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8 KJV). So even when we face something brand new that seems scary or strange, we can trust that Jesus is always the same. He'll be there for us like He always has been and He'll guide us through. We can count on His character.


Real Inspiration Pass-Along Cards

So as the new school year begins, whether we’re a part of it or not, let’s ask God to do something new in and through us. Then we can move forward in confidence knowing that however God answers that prayer, it will be good, because we know He is."

been awhile since i've blogged. the past few weeks have been really hectic and trying for me. God has been really testing me and pushing me. which in a way has been good-ok, when is it NOT good?

so the past few weeks were spent scrambling to get stuff ready for church's camp this past weekend. scrambling to get nursery sitters, scrambling to get the youth handbooks/notes/materials ready. scrambling to squeeze in worship practices and scrambling to get my own stuff ready for school. and now that the weekend is over, i'm scrambling to get a breather squeezed in. friday, everyone was supposed to have been at my house by 10:30 so that we could hit the road by at least 11. davey, erica, and byron didn't call till around 11:15, so we just tried to catch up with them on the road, which we did. this year, camp was at a new facility. it's pretty nice, but it just feels weird to be at a different camp ground after so many years of being at alliance. set everything up for registration then unloaded my stuff and found out that i would get my own room again. YEA! when ppl started showing up, it was back to work for me. too bad i couldn't have one more of me. i needed to be in 2 places at once, felt like a chicken w/ it's head cut off. after registration, had dinner-food is better than the other place, however it's still camp food...then service which was combined. then hung out in one of the lounge rooms and went to sleep around 2. woke up, had breakfast, went to morning service for youth and then drove auntie esther, james, jenn, ben, dana, and christine back to oakland for drea's graduation. it was a small graduation at the kaiser building near the oakland museum. speakers were kinda boring-james, christine, and many others in the audience fell asleep ;) after that, headed back to camp. took me an hour and a half to get to oakland and 2 hours to get back to santa cruz cuz of traffic and we made a stop in milpitas for pearl drinks...yummm. soooooo tired. had evening service w/ just the youth. hung out in the lounge talkin w/ kenji and then around 12:30 or so, dana and i went to star gaze on the soccer field. we sat on this really uncomfortable wooden bench, but we got a chance to talk a bit...then dave, jay, chris, and christine came and joined us. we carried another [me and dana cuz the boys were too lazy, hahahahha] bench over and had a comforter over all of us and just talked and watched the starts. we ended up leaving around 2:30 cuz the fog came in and blocked all the perdy stars. sunday morning, breakfast, babysat, lunch, watched the kids get messy in rec, talked w/ a buncha ppl, dinner, service, campfire, more stargazing, then sleep. at service, bun said one of her girls was missing. we walked ALL over the place and could not find her. when i finally figured out who she was, kenny said she might be w/ her parents in the cantonese or mandarin service. kenny went to go check cuz jay and i couldn't got cuz we were singing in a few minutes. after service, kenny told us the girl was in her parents room sleeping cuz she wasn't feeling well. *whew* then campfire which was, let's just say, it was eye opening for me and i learned alot. after that, christine, jay, and i cut up 2 garbage bags, laid it out in the middle of the soccer field in front of me and christine's lodge, put a comforter on top of that, then we got on top of that and put a comforter on top of us. it was really cool laying there looking up at the stars. saw lotsa shooting stars and also mars. that was cool. it was kinda hard to see the stars after awhile cuz the moon was so bright. and every once in awhile the fog would roll in and block everything, but it would disappear really quickly too. monday, made it to the last 15 minutes of breakfast, had service, packed everything up, watched the "rec wrap-up" then headed home. followed pat in the van. we had a caravan of kenny, davey, me, and jay. pat suggested we go to fudd's in union city for late lunch/early dinner. my first day of school was yesterday, so i dropped hil, christy, and christie at my house so hil could pick up her car and then we headed to fudd's. right after dinner, i went straight to class. it was soooo hard. class is from 6-10 every mon. the teacher kept us there till 9. i pretty much talked on line w/ kj and hil the whole time. *sigh*

pat's messages this year were on sexual purity. he was pretty stressed and worried about how everything would go. but as i sat in the back and watched the kids, saw them talking w/ their counselors, saw them during their quite time, and listening to their testimonies during camp fire, i knew that he had nothing to worry about. it was challenging for me too and this year at camp, i also learned that i need to learn not to have such a bad attitude about things. instead of holding a grudge and talking to ppl about the problem, i should go straight to the sources and work things out. what it comes down to is that i'm too scared to try to "fix" the problem and confront ppl. i can confront them on certain things, but other times, i just can't-i wish that it would just go away and disappear. and since i still haven't done anything about it, i feel awkward and hesitant. *sigh*
looks like i might hafta drop wednesday nite home team. at first, i thot i'd be able to go since i only had classes mon, tues, and thurs nites. but now, i jsut need one more class to finish and it's only offered 2 times. 1 during another class and the other wednesday nites, 6-10. so tomorrow i'm going to try to add. *sigh*

4 nites a week of classes....pray for me.