so i should be studying right now cuz i have a 2 projects due tomorrow nite, a presentation due tomorrow, and a final friday. then a final monday and 2 tuesday. saturday and sunday i'll be too busy to study with all sorts of practices for church stuff and i know i should study now, but i just can't focus and concentrate on it. there are so many other things going on that i haven't planned things out well. ok, i have, but i guess i just refuse to do what i'm supposed to do. instead of being orderly and doing things in a mannerly fashion, i'm just letting things happen and rush at the last minute, get fed up with myself, curse myself out for bein such a lazy a@$ and then half a@$ the work. it's not that i don't want to do all the stuff that's coming up. i do, i want to do it all but then worrying about "background" stuff just adds to my dismal attitude.

i actually watched the season finale of dawson's creek. i can't even remember the last episode i watched. but i figured, what the heck, it's the last show, i might as well conclude it. can't say it was surprising. it was predictable. but i still think joey should be with dawson. *shrug* i think it's just weird that she's with pacey and not her "soul-mate." i don't think they needed to make it 2 hours either. they could've chopped it down to an hour and it would've been fine. cuz dragging on the "pacey or dawson" issue was getting annoying. well, anyway, it's over. can't wait for smallville and gilmore girls' finale next week....

it's hard being an accountability person for someone. ya know, if you want me to be your accountability person, then YOU have to committ to the "relationship" too. it's not going to work if you don't do anything. *sigh* maybe that's why i'm just so...blah about everything now. i worry too much, scared that something could happen, scared that something HAS happened and i just don't know about it yet.